Friday, February 15, 2013

Going to bed angry

Whether you are living with someone, getting married, or you are married, this is a piece of advice that you've heard or will hear from people:

"Never go to bed angry."

That's a hard statement to live by. Not going to bed angry is like slapping a bull on its rear-end and expecting it to not run after you. It is unfair to you and your significant other to try to solve your problems before bed. Can you imagine in a literal world where people will be up all night trying to solve a problem? It would be ridiculous! Sometimes you need to sleep on it and refresh your mind.

So, go to bed angry. Save your sanity, and his, by letting your brain mull it over while you sleep.

However, I will say this:

Go to bed angry BUT

A) Never kick your spouse out of the bed.
  1) That bed is your hearth. You make love in it, you make life in it, you rest in it. It is symbolic. By sleeping next to your spouse, you entrust your whole self while you are at your weakest. Survival wise, this was important. Now, it is a symbol. Don't make someone sleep anywhere but next to you.
  2) When you wake up the next morning and see that rested face of the person you love, things are put into perspective. Heck, you may even cuddle. Who knows! You might even get that make-up sexy time. But that can't happen if someone has a grudge for being forced out of their bed. Being a former military spouse, I was so grateful that I got to wake up to my husband every day because when he was deployed, I really missed him. And I didn't have regrets, just memories of waking up next to him.

B) Always say, "I love you" before bed.
1) Even if you are angry, saying those words will reaffirm your feelings for each other. It will not only remind your spouse, but remind YOU, that even though things are rough, you have each other. Say I love you all that time.
2) You will never know when you will wake up, but the person that you love won't. I don't mean to be depressing, but it is a part of our reality as human beings. Put it into perspective. Tell your hunny that you love him.

Remind yourself that you are partners in life. Be fair to each other. Put yourself in their shoes. Sometimes, saying nothing is the best thing you can do. Of course, unless it is "I love you."

Hope you have a wonderful evening, a wonderful weekend, and a more peaceful one!





1 comment:

  1. I agree! I hate that old adage. Because lets face it, sometimes you just need to really think about the situation and get less mad about it!

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